I was recently walking through a home improvement store and a guy standing at a folding table thrust a pamphlet toward me and exclaimed, "I would like to talk to you about the advantages of vinyl siding."

"No thanks," I replied. "I live in an historic home."

So much is said these days about "authenticity." I'm not exactly sure how to define authenticity, but, like porn, I know it when I see it. I know of homes of a similar age around here, and some have succumbed to the allure of "maintenance free" vinyl siding. I'm convinced that in the long view nothing is truly maintenance free. And no matter how high the quality of vinyl siding, I have never seen it look right on an historic home. Not saying it can't be done, but just saying I haven't seen it.

I was watching the local news the other day and they showed modern home that had caught fire. As the reporter interviewed the owner, I could see the remains of the house in the background. "How sad," I thought. "Their house melted."

At least mine, if it ever goes, will go in a blaze of glory.